1968 FRANK ZAPPA - TRUE MONO - RUBEN & THE JETS U.K LP DIFFERENT COVER + INSERTS

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DECEMBER 2ND 1968 - CRUISING WITH RUBEN AND THE JETS- 12" VINYL RECORD LP - THIS IS THE U.K. ORIGINAL MONO PRESSING THAT HAS A DIFFERENT COVER - BY THE WAY, THE ONLY PLACE IN THE WORLD I'M AWARE OF THAT RUBEN AND THE JETS HAD EVER BEEN RELEASED IN TRUE MONO IS I THE U.K., AND I DID SEE A BRAZILIAN MONO PRESSING AROUND 8 YEARS AGO THAT SOLD FOR A FORTUNE - SO WHY, YES WHY, IS MONO SO IMPORTANT YOU MIGHT BE SITTING THERE SCRATCHING YOUR OVER-SIZED RONDO HATTON TYPE OF BEMIS HEAD MUMBLING? WELL LARRY, IT'S BECAUSE SOME ANCIENT DINOSAUR GEEZERS CLAIM THAT MONO ALLOWS YOU TO HEAR SOME STUFF THAT GETS LOST IN THE STEREO MIX, SPECIALLY WITH ALL OF THE STUFF FRANK ZAPPA USED TO CRAM INTO HIS SONGS. ALSO AS YOU'LL SOON DISCOVER, MONO IS A LITTLE DIFFERENT THAN THE TIE YOU GOT SLOBBERING DRUNK AND KNOCKED OVER ONE OF YOUR STEREO SPEAKER CABINETS SMASHING IT TO PIECES, THE RESULT OF WHICH FORCED YOU TO LISTED TO YOUR NEIL SEDAKA RECORDS THRU ONLY ONE SPEAKER - BUT WAIT..., THERE' MORE, BECAUSE AFTER MOST OF YOU LISTEN TO THIS RECORD, YOU'LL PROBABLY BE IN NEED OF INSTRUCTIONS ON HOW TO COMB AND SET A JELLYROLL, AS WELL AS WANTING TO KNOW HOW TO DO THE BOP, SO DUE TO THE FACT THAT WEEZE TIGHT, COPIES OF BOTH INSTRUCTIONAL INSERTS ARE INCLUDED - VERVE RECORDS - VLP. 9237 - CHECK OUT THE PHOTOS

OLD MAN GEPPETTO CROAKED, I GOT STUCK WITH PINOCCHIO AND NOW HE NEEDS A NOSE JOB. SO CHECK OUT MY OTHER RARE FRANK ZAPPA AND RELATED ITEMS, SO I CAN GET HIM HIS MUCH NEEDED NOSE REDUCTION. OK LARRY? 

SO WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH THOSE INSERTS, YEZ ARE PROBABLY SITTING THERE WONDERING WHILE SCRATCHING YOUR OVERSIZED RONDO HATTON STYLE OF BEMIS HEAD?

WELL LARRY, I THOUGHT YOU'D NEVER ASK:

FIRST OF ALL, THOSE INSERTS ARE COPIES OF THE 1984 VERSIONS THAT WERE INSERTED INTO THE CRUISING WITH RUBEN AND THE JETS LP IN THE OLD MASTERS BOX ONE SET.

SO WHY ARE THE ORIGINALS SO RARE? IT'S BECAUSE UNLIKE WHAT SOME PEOPLE BELIEVE, THEY WERE NEVER INCLUDED IN ANY STOCK COPIES OF THE LP. THEY WEREN'T EVEN INCLUDED IN THE YELLOW LABEL PROMO VERSIONS OF THIS LP . THEY WERE ONLY INCLUDED IN THE WHITE LABEL VERVE PROMO COPIES THAT WERE SENT TO RECORD STORES FOR IN STORE PLAY. YOU'LL NOTICE THAT ON THE COVER OF THIS VERY ALBUM THERE'S A DJ STICKER. THAT'S BECAUSE THE YELLOW LABEL VARIETIES OF THIS ALBUM WERE SENT TO RADIO STATIONS . SO FRANK AND MAYBE VERVE THOUGHT THAT DJS WOULDN'T BE INTERESTED IN KNOWING HOW TO SET AND COMB THEIR JELLYROLLS OR DO THE BOP. HOWEVER, THE WHITE LABEL PROMOS WERE SENT TO RECORD STORES WHERE MAYBE THEY THOUGHT SOMEBODY WOULD BENEFIT FROM THOSE INSTRUCTIONS. IT JUST GOES BACK TO WHAT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL PEOPLE'S BEHINDS FOR YEARS NOW, VERVE YELLOW LABELS TO RADIO STATIONS, WHITE LABELS TO RECORD STORES. BUT YEZ DON'T HAVE TO BELIEVE ME IF YEZ DON'T WANNA. OK LARRY?

SIDE 1 POOTS FORTH: CHEAP THRILLS - LOVE OF MY LIFE - HOW COULD I BE SUCH A FOOL - DESERI - I'M NOT SATISFIED - JELLY ROLL GUM DROP - ANYTHING.

SIDE 2 OOZES OUT: LATER THAT NIGHT - YOU DIDN'T TRY TO CALL ME - FOUNTAIN OF LOVE - NO.NO.NO. - ANYWAY THE WIND BLOWS - STUFF UP THE CRACKS.

LAMINATED FRONT DIFFERENT COVER. THE BACK ISN'T LAMINATED AND THE COVER IS NON-FOLDOUT. SO HERE'S THE DEAL ABOUT THE COVER; FIRST OF ALL THE BACK COVER IS BLACK AND WHITE, THE AMOEBA LOOKING COLOR AREA WAS DRAWN ON IT BY SOME GUY IN THE U.K., WHO INSTEAD OF COMBING HIS JELLYROLL AND LEARNING HOW TO DO THE BOP , DECIDED TO SMOKE A BANANA AND THOUGHT HE WAS AN ARTIST. ALSO THERE'S SOME YELLOWING BACK THERE, A RECORD INDENTATION AND CREASES ON THE FRONT. NO SEAM SPITS OR TAPE. CHECK OUT THE PHOTOS.

I PLAYED BOTH SIDES OF THE RECORD FROM BEGINNING TO END ON MY DENON DP-1200 TURNTABLE WITH A DENON MOVING COIL CARTRIDGE GOING THRU A HEAD AMP BEFORE THE PRE-AMP. I'M TALKING THE RECORD SURFACE AMPLIFIED TO EAR SHATTERING PROPORTIONS AND BOTH SIDES SOUNDED JUST LIKE YOU'D IMAGINE A 47 YEAR OLD MONO RECORD TO SOUND, GOOD AND LOUD WITH NATURALLY SOME SURFACE NOISE THAT NEVER OVERPOWERS THE MUSIC. NO SKIPS AND THE RECORD DOESN'T GET STUCK ANYWHERE. VISUALLY YEAH, THERE'S SOME SURFACE MARKS / SCUFFS, NONE WERE DEEP GROOVE ENOUGH TO CREATE ANY SKIPS AND WILL CAUSE YOU TO HAVE TO GET OFF YOUR COUCH TO ADVANCE THE RECORD BECAUSE IT GOT STUCK IN ONE PLACE ALL THE WHILE MUMBLING TO YOURSELF WHAT A CRAPPY PERSON THAT REV IS. YOU'LL GET TO HEAR BOTH SIDES IN ALL OF THEIR FULL MONO GLORY. THE RECORD COMES IN THE ORIGINAL PLASTIC INSIDE OF PAPER TYPE MADE IN THE U.K. INNER SLEEVE, AND A HEAVY PLASTIC OUTER SLEEVE FOR YOUR PROTECTION IN THE EVENT THAT DURING IT'S STAY IN MARYLAND IT CONTRACTED CRABS.

THE INSERTS ARE COPIES OF THE 1984 VERSIONS THAT CAME IN THE OLD MASTERS BOX ONE SET.

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CHECK OUT MY OTHER FRANK ZAPPA AND THE MOTHERS OF INVENTION, CAPTAIN BEEFHEART AND HIS MAGIC BAND, STEVE VAI , TIM BUCKLEY , LARRY "WILD MAN" FISCHER , ALICE COOPER PLUS I'VE ADDED MANY OTHER COOL PSYCHEDELIC / HARD ROCK BANDS SUCH AS CAPTAIN BEYOND, BLUE CHEER WITH THE LEGENDARY DICKIE PETERSON, ROOT BOY SLIM AND THE SEX CHANGE BAND, MOUNTAIN WITH THE PORTLY LESLIE WEST AND THE EXTREMELY COOL FELIX PAPPALARDI, KING CRIMSON, JIMI HENDRIX, JETHRO TULL AND OTHERS IN MY E-BAY STORE; SIR RICHARD PUMP A LOAF'S BAKERY WHERE THE MUFFINS ARE ALWAYS FRESH AND JUST MIGHT BE PERSUADED INTO REMOVING THEIR ROSETTAS FOR A GEEZER SUCH AS YOURSELF. THE ADMISSION REMAINS ABSOLUTELY FREE. . SO WADDA YEZ WAITIN' FOR, HUH?