KID CASHMERE 1977 PRIVATE TWISTED FUNK PSYCH LP like SN

$

47

WHAT WE HAVE HERE IS…

KID CASHMERE "Kid Cashmere"

Original 1977 LP on the GUINNESS label, STEREO GNS 36081

Cover:  VG++, light ringwear

Vinyl:  Clean, plays EXCELLENT

Very bizarre and frankly freakish mystery album on the Guiness tax scam label from 1977, which makes it one of the last releases on the dubious label.  Kind of a weird Southern fried funk soul record, with a lead vocalist who often lapses into that pseudo-funky Lynyrd Skynyrd drawl, and a backup vocalist who’s there for the falsetto parts.  He’s trying to sound like Prince but gets much closer to that guy who sang the Bertha Butt Boogie.  Kid Cashmere is definitely white boy funk, no doubt about it, the Mississippi truck stop ripoff of Prince’s For You, with a lead guitarist who can certainly jam but would probably rather be playing covers of “Tuesday’s Gone” and “Free Bird.”  And the whole thing’s housed in a not-so-subtly homosexual jacket with a font that hadn’t been used since 1972 by Roger Dean’s cousin.  What’s not to love here?

The opening song’s called “Rock ‘N’ Roll,” and that’s like trying to call a jackalope a rabbit.  It’s much weirder than that.  Sounds of a live audience end abruptly and then start over again after 5 seconds of silence, proving a) their “live audience” sound effects library didn’t have anything over 1 minute, and b) they just didn’t give a s*** anyway.  It sets up the Kid Cashmere sound nicely – Prince-like falsetto vocals backing up a Lynyrd Skynyrd drawling lead singer while a guitar wails away about a half mile in the background like Carlos Santana phoning in from Brooklyn.  Follow-up track “Funky Nine” has the word “funk” in the title this time, with an actual real good solid funk beat firmly in the Ohio Players/P-Funk tradition.  This time, the falsetto dude takes over nicely, leaving Tax Scam Van Zant to channel Jimmy Castor and LeRoy “Sugarfoot” Bonner by alternately grunting and producing random shouts of “Yow!” and “Funkay Baybay!” when needed.  A genuinely funky time is had by all.

Side 2 kicks off with their anthem, “The Cashmere Strut,” pronounced Kazz-meer for some reason.  This is a complete Jimmy Castor Bunch rip, with a monologue that can’t help but recall the Bertha Butt Boogie.  But as always, when things start getting just a tad repetitive (like, say, the Jimmy Castor Bunch), the very nimble guitarist always steps in for a nice Santana-esque solo.  The tight and compact “Something’s Happening” tips the scales back in favor of the Skynyrd vibe – it rocks in a nice loose Southern-fried vibe and sports a really, really good chorus.  Of course, it wouldn’t be Kid Cashmere if it didn’t do something completely unexpected.  And sure enough, at 1:45, it ventures off into a brief synth-drenched tinkly-Korg Earth Wind and Fire romantic soul break for no reason whatsoever, before returning again to a nice Gimme Back My Bullets guitar fade.  If that sounds confusing, it’s ‘cuz it is.

In case you haven’t already figured out, Kid Cashmere is weird.  Like the Seventies from whence it came.  Imagine Prince joining Lynyrd Skynyrd and covering the Ohio Players with Carlos Santana sitting in on guitar and a pile of coke on the floor.  Then grab two aspirin and try to stop the throbbing in your skull you got trying to envision that.  Look, I always knew the Seventies were f***ed up.  I lived through ‘em.  But Kid Cashmere just showed me that things were even more f***ed up than I realized.

UPDATE: I'M SORRY, BUT I CAN NO LONGER AFFORD THE RISK TO SHIP TO ITALY, DUE TO THE CORRUPT POSTAL SYSTEM (THERE, NOT HERE). IT HAS ALREADY COST ME TOO MUCH MONEY IN LOST SHIPMENTS. SORRY!

HEAR IT!

The less exciting stuff

Media mail shipping with delivery confirmation starts at $4.00 in the US, with each additional record only $1 additional shipping.  ALL DOMESTIC ORDERS REQUIRE DELIVERY CONFIRMATION, WHICH IS AN EXTRA 75 CENTS.  Air mail shipping to Canada starts at $10 US, each additional record $2 shipping.  Air mail shipping everywhere else in the world starts at $16 US, with each additional record only $3 shipping.  ALL FOREIGN ORDERS REQUIRE CERTIFICATE OF SHIPMENT, WHICH IS AN EXTRA $1.10.  I accept payments through Paypal. 

I try to grade as best as I can, and I list as many blemishes/imperfections I can find (writing, ringwear, scuff marks, etc.) – Also, please note that I DO listen to these albums – I may not listen to every track, but my grades are based on LISTENING, not just looking at it, since chances are you’ll be listening to the record you buy, not just looking at it.  Most of the albums I sell are the ones I’ve enjoyed for years – and I treat my records with kid gloves.  But sounds speak louder than words, so check out the sound clips below – they’re from the actual record you’re bidding on. 

SHIPPING AND PACKAGING

Listen, I buy a bunch of records too (when I’m not getting outbid at the last second, which is more often than not) – and I know what it’s like to get a rare, one-of-a-kind album packaged dangerously in a flimsy bubblewrap package.  I hate that too.  So rest assured, I ALWAYS package albums with stiff cardboard reinforcements, same for 45s.  And yes, the records are removed from the sleeves (for albums).  I ship out once a week, every Friday, because I have a regular day job.  But I’d be willing to give that up if you’d all be so kind as to bid my items up to stupidly high amounts. 

And finally, I include delivery confirmation on all shipments inside the US.  This is my proof of shipment, and also helps us to track your package if it doesn’t arrive when it should.  I will email you within 2 days of shipment and give you the confirmation number at that time.  Insurance is always optional, but for larger orders, it’s highly recommended.   I DO NOW REQUIRE THAT ALL FOREIGN BUYERS PAY AN ADDITIONAL $1.10 FOR PROOF OF SHIPMENT.  IT'S A NOMINAL FEE AND THE CHEAPEST WAY FOR ME TO PROVE THAT I ACTUALLY SHIPPED YOUR PACKAGE AND DIDN'T JUST POCKET YOUR MONEY AND SKIP TOWN.  For more security and international tracking, you may request GLOBAL PRIORITY MAIL - but bear in mind the cost of this service is upwards of $30.  For expensive items, however, it may be well worth it.  Unfortunately, there isn’t a cost-effective way of tracking parcels to foreign countries yet, and shipping times vary depending on your country’s postal system.   Italy in particular seems to be really bad at delivering packages quickly, or delivering packages at all, now that you mention it.  I will always email you when your package ships, but once it’s on its way, please don’t ask me when it will arrive because I don’t know.  If the world’s postal systems can ever agree on a universal tracking system that’s affordable, I’ll be the first to use it.

NOW IT’S YOUR TURN…

I will always leave positive feedback for successful transactions, and would appreciate the same in return.  All I ask of you is the following – please pay for your items within 14 days of the close of auction.  Compared to other sellers, that’s a generous amount of time, so if you don’t pay within 2 weeks, then I have to assume something’s wrong.  You’ll get an Ebay payment reminder at that point, and possibly a decapitated horse head in your bed.  If, after 30 days, you still haven’t forked up the cash, I’ll relist the item and yell at you if I ever see you in town.