1981 NAME W/ HENRY KAISER RARE SELF TEST PRESSING +INSERT BEEFHEART FRANK ZAPPA

$

60

1981 - NAME - SELF-TITLED HAND MADE BY THE BAND 7 SONG - 45 RPM EP - -  NAME ARE: LYNN MURDOCK - BOB ADAMS - EVERETT SHOCK - ERLING WOLD - RICK CRAWFORD - MARK CRAWFORD - HENRY KAISER - JUDITH STADTMEN- BACK WHEN CRUSTY GEEZERS AND WANNA-BE HIPPIES WHO ALL LATER BECAME BANK EXECUTIVES OR HEDGE FUND MANAGERS ROAMED THE EARTH, AND ANY ATTEMPT TO CRAM IT INTO A CD PLAYER JUST MIGHT NEGATIVELY AFFECT IT'S FUTURE PERFORMANCE }- INCLUDES A GENERIC CARDBOARD ALBUM COVER WITH SLICKS GLUED ON BOTH SIDES - THE EP HAS WHITE LABELS WITH INFORMATION WRITTEN ON THEM - THERE'S ALSO A DOUBLE SIDED PRINTED INSERT WITH THE SONG LYRICS AND DRAWINGS WHICH MAKES ME THINK THAT THIS EP WAS INTENDED TO BE MADE LIKE THIS BY THE BAND - IF I DIDN'T KNOW ANY BETTER I'D THINK THE SONGS WERE BY CAPTAIN BEEFHEART SO IF YOU LIKE BEEFHEART YOU'LL LOVE THIS ULTRA RARE EP - AND SEE THE PHOTOS WHICH ARE NOW LOCATED NEAR THE TOP OF THE LISTINGS TO AVOID HAVING TO LOOK DOWN AND PICKING UP YOUR HAIR PIECE - OK LARRY?

HI THERE. I'M REV. A. WEST PASTOR / TOASTMAN AT THE LOVELY OUR LADY OF ETERNAL FLATULENCE CHURCH AND REAL ESTATE SALES OFFICE IN BEAUTIFUL DOWN, DOWN, DOWN, TOWN, TOWN, TOWN, POOTER'S HOLE, MARYLAND. . NOW RECENTLY WE HAD MANY MEMBERS OF OUR FLOCK CONFISCATE A BUNCH OF MUSIC FROM WHERE-EVER THEY COULD FIND EM'  AND DONATE THEM TO THE CHURCH FOR AN OFFICIAL RECORD BURNING AND OL' TIME REVIVAL. BUT SHORTLY THERE-AFTER I SAW A VISION WHERE JESUS SAID TO ME: " HEY YOU SCHMUCK, YEAH REV. A. WEST I'M TALKING TO YO' BEHIND. WHY ARE YOU DESTROYING ALL OF THOSE RECORDS WHEN YEZ CAN SELL 'EM AND GIVE THE MONEY TO SOMEBODY WHO NEEDS IT? ", AND OF COURSE THE BIG J WAS RIGHT AS USUAL SO I DECIDED TO SELL 'EM RIGHT HERE ON EBAY. THERE-FORE ALL YE NEEDS TO DO IS TO INSERT YOUR BUTTOCKS INTO MY EBAY STORE: SIR RICHARD PUMP A LOAF'S BAKERY. HEY NOW, YOU KNOW WHERE YEZ FOUL BEHIND WILL BE GOING SO WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE ANYWAY? I MEAN IF YOU LISTEN TO MUSIC SUCH AS CAPTAIN BEEFHEART OR FRANK ZAPPA FOR INSTANCE YEZ KNOW YOU'LL WIND UP IN SOME PLACE WITH NO AIR CONDITIONING SO YEZ JUST MIGHT AS WELL ENJOY IT WHILE YEZ STILL CAN. OK LARRY? 

SIDE A CONTAINS: BOOK OF JOEL - SAFETY FOR YOURSELF - THOUGHT I WAS ALONE - SANDY THE PELICAN. 

SIDE B CONTAINS: FALSE LATIN SITUATION - MEDICI TOWING - X'S FOR EYES.

THE GENERIC WHITE CARDBOARD JACKET HAS THE SLICKS GLUED TO BOTH SIDES. YOU CAN SEE SOME OF THE YELLOWING CAUSED BY THE GLUE AND THERE'S SOME CREASES ON THE CORNERS OF THE CARDBOARD JACKET. THERE'S ALSO A NAME WRITTEN NEAR THE TOP RIGHT EDGE ON THE BACK COVER SLICK. THE DOUBLE SIDED PRINTED INSERT LOOKS GREAT NO YELLOWING OR ANY MAJOR CREASING. 

BOTH SIDES OF THE RECORD PLAYED GREAT WHEN I PLAYED THEM ON MY DENON TURNTABLE WITH A DENON MOVING COIL CARTRIDGE HOOKED UP TO A HEAD AMP EVEN BEFORE THE PRE-AMP. . VISUALLY WHEN I MOVED BOTH SIDES OF THE RECORD AROUND UNDER A PAIR OF 100 WATT LIGHT BULBS THERE'S NO SCRATCHES AT ALL, NOT EVEN ANY PAPER SCUFFS. NEAR MINT SINCE ANY RECORD THAT'S BEEN PLAYED CAN'T BE MINT BUT BOTH SIDES OF THE VINYL LOOK BEAUTIFUL. THE RECORD COMES WITH A HIGH QUALITY TYPE OF INNER SLEEVE AND DUE TO THE FACT THAT WEEZE TIGHT I'M GONNA GIVE YEZ A PLASTIC OUTER SLEEVE ABSOLUTELY FREE.

PAYMENT BY PAYPAL ONLY.

JUST PAY FOR THE ITEM WHEN YOU WIN OR PURCHASE IT. THOSE EXCUSES WERE GETTING OLD SUCH AS, BUT NOT LIMITED TO: " WHILE VISITING YOUR AMAZING E-BAY STORE: SIR RICHARD PUMP A LOAF'S BAKERY, INSIDE OF WHICH IS PRETTY TIGHT DUE TO SOME OF THE RAREST FRANK ZAPPA AND RELATED ITEMS KNOWN TO MANKIND BEING ALL CRAMMED UP IN THERE, I ACCIDENTALLY PRESSED THE BUY-IT-NOW BUTTON WITH MY ENORMOUS BUTTOCKS ", " LAST NIGHT JESUS SUDDENLY APPEARED AND TOLD ME THAT IF I PAY AND LISTEN TO THAT CAPTAIN BEEFHEART RELATED RECORD, THE POSSIBILITY JUST MIGHT EXIST THAT I COULD WIND UP IN THE PLACE WHERE THE GUY WITH THE HORNS AND POINTED STICK CONDUCTS HIS BUSINESS ", " I TRUSTED REV. A. WEST AND AFTER MY WIFE HAD TOLD ME THAT SHE'LL STICK MY BALLS IN A VICE IF I BUY JUST ONE MORE CAPTAIN BEEFHEART AND / OR RELATED RECORD, I WENT AHEAD ANYWAY AND PURCHASED ONE. HOWEVER UNLIKE WHAT THE REV. HAD SAID IN ONE OF HIS LISTINGS WHEN SHE STUCK EM' IN THERE I DIDN'T REALLY ENJOY IT VERY MUCH AT ALL ". EVEN IF SOME, IF NOT ALL OF THESE OUTRAGEOUS EXCUSES WERE TRUE. COMBINED SHIPPING IS AVAILABLE ON CERTAIN ITEMS, BUT ONLY TO CERTAIN PEOPLE. SO GETTING WITH THE PROGRAM SET FORTH BY MANY OTHERS ALSO TRYING TO MAINTAIN MY IMAGE AS A BIG TIME SELLER, THE KIND THAT JUST LOVES TO MAKE EVEN THE SMALLEST THING A GREAT BIG HASSLE, YOU'LL NEED TO READ THE OUTRAGEOUS TERMS IN THE FINE PRINT FIRST: TO QUALIFY FOR COMBINED SHIPPING, YOU MUST FIRST MEET THE FOLLOWING  REQUIREMENTS: PURCHASE MORE THAN ONE ITEM THAT CAN BE SENT TOGETHER FROM ME, NOT ONE ITEM FROM ME AND ANOTHER ITEM FROM SOMEBODY ELSE.. PAY FOR THOSE ITEMS. ARE NOT NOW, NOR HAVE EVER BEEN, AND PROMISE TO SHALL NEVER BECOME IN THE FUTCHUM ANY OF THE FOLLOWING: JACK O' LOAF NUISANCE DILLHOLE OR DILLWEED LARRY'S MOTHER  THE MANAGER OF OSAMA'S BARBEQUE PIT THAT FIRED ME A LONG TIME AGO SAYING THAT I WAS A FAT LAZY OAF.. .

$4.00 FOR MEDIA MAIL SHIPPING IN THE USA.

$9.00 FOR PRIORITY MAIL SHIPPING IN THE USA.

$12.00 FOR AIR MAIL SHIPPING TO CANADA.

$19.00 FOR AIR MAIL SHIPPING TO ANY OTHER LOCATION IN THE WORLD. , VULGARIA, THE RIPOFF REPUBLIC OR THE PILFER ISLANDS }.

HEY LARRY, YOU STILL HANGING AROUND WAY DOWN HERE? WELL OBVIOUSLY YOU HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO TONIGHT SO CHECK OUT MY OTHER FRANK ZAPPA AND THE MOTHERS OF INVENTION, CAPTAIN BEEFHEART AND HIS MAGIC BAND, TIM BUCKLEY , LARRY " WILD MAN " FISCHER , ALICE COOPER , THE G.T.O.'S , STEVE VAI PLUS MORE FRANK ZAPPA / CAPTAIN BEEFHEART RELATED ARTISTS THAN YOU CAN SHAKE YER STICK AT, AND AS IF THAT WEREN'T ENOUGH I'VE ADDED SOME OTHER COOL PSYCHEDELIC / HARD ROCK ARTISTS FOR YOUR DANCING AND DINING PLEASURE SUCH AS: CAPTAIN BEYOND,  BLUE CHEER WITH THE LEGENDARY DICKIE PETERSON, BULL ANGUS, ROOT BOY SLIM AND THE SEX CHANGE BAND, MOUNTAIN WITH THE PORTLY LESLIE WEST AND THE EXTREMELY COOL FELIX PAPPALARDI, GEFILTE JOE AND THE FISH, JETHRO TULL, KING CRIMSON, JIMI HENDRIX, PINK FLOYD, NEKTAR AND MANY OTHERS IN MY E-BAY STORE: SIR RICHARD PUMP A LOAF'S BAKERY WHERE THE BUNS ARE ALWAYS FRESH N' HOT AND THE MUFFINS JUST MIGHT BE PERSUADED INTO REMOVING THEIR ROSETTAS FOR A GEEZER SUCH AS YOURSELF. THE ADMISSION REMAINS ABSOLUTELY FREE. . SO WADDA YEZ WAITIN' FOR, HUH?