MR BASTARD “Weel You W*nk Me?” (Brisbane, 1998) Handcut lathe LP by Peter King

$

51

First, a little (personal) history about the band...

Formed in Brisbane way back in 1991, Mr Bastard was me (Andrew “El Stumpo” Leavold) on drums, Gregor (ex-Strontium Dog) on bass and vocals, and Marcus (ex-Surly Girls) on guitar and vocals. By the time of these recordings, Cal Crilly (ex-ACT, Alien Virus, Acid World, and Queer) had replaced Roland the Heavy Metal Guitarist on guitar duties.

Musically we were a mutant pastiche of Seventies punk rock, country, glam, metal and cabaret. No one really had a handle on us, and most didn’t care to get too close.

We managed to stagger through some truly shambolic drunken performances, with other shambolic punk bands at the time (The Onyas, The Fred Band, Strutter, AIM, Blowhard, Big Bongin’ Baby) as well as noise acts like Invisible Empire, Hateman etc, at some legendary loooong-dead Brisbane dives in the early 90s (the Treasury Hotel, the Orient, Babble-On) and supporting some greats like Adelaide’s The Iron Sheiks and American garage punks The New Bomb Turks.

“Weel You W*nk Me?” (Gregor’s idea for an album title, not mine!) was mostly recorded in 1995 at Bryce Moorhead’s home studio in Wynnum, Brisbane. I remember a lot of beer being drunk, yet somehow most of the tracks magically came together in one or two takes. Bryce, these days a very in-demand producer for the Brisbane indie scene, charged us a bowl of hummus which I think I never paid.

Guests over the two day recording session included Tina Sadisterotica on saxophone, The Standing 8 Counts/Strontium Dog’s Greg Hilleard, Richard “Stanners” Stanley (The Onyas, Ooga Boogas) and John “Mad Macka” McKeering (The Onyas, Cosmic Psychos), and Garth Anonymous (who later played with me in They Might Be Vaginas) on guest vocals on “King Of The Fuckin’ Road”.

The remaining tracks (“Prisoner Theme”, “Heinrich Eissler”) were from an equally shambolic live to air on 4ZZZ community radio station earlier in 1995

The stereo recordings were then bounced down to mono (still not sure why) by Invisible Empire’s David McKinnon, to be released on his Shy Tone label. The mono tape was then sent to Peter King at King Records to hand-cut fifty of our 12” LPs. The clear discs then sat unreleased for several years, until Gregor returned briefly from the UK in 1998 and we could finally have our album launch.

I designed and executed the LP cover and inserts, as I did most of Mr Bastard’s flyers, in a photocopy shop in Stones Corner. I then bought the daggiest LPs I could find in a nearby op shop, pasted the photocopied covers to the insides of the LP covers, and included the original LPs with the Mr Bastard ones. With this copy, you get “Foot Loose And Fancy Free” by Rod Stewart. Lucky you! You also got a fold-out of all of our gig flyers, and a tract on “How To Pass Out Flyers For Mr Bastard” (thank you Jack Chick!).

We sold most of the LPs on the night of the album launch. Ten were also sold wholesale to Au-Go-Go Records in Melbourne – I think that’s how we got an LP review in Japan which we’ve never been able to read. Mr Bastard lasted several more shows, then Gregor returned to the UK and the band finished for good.

I found ONE spare LP in the garage the other week. This is the last of the fifty. Unless you stumble on an aging Brisbane punk selling off their copy bought at a gig twenty years ago,

So here you have it, a small chunk of Brisbane band history, and a curious footnote in the rich catalogue of lathe-cut LPs by the formidable Mr Peter King. I hope this gives you a context in which to place its dubious delights.